Is it normal for members to send family instead of coming themselves?

English Forum Community 🤔 Q&As: Ask the community
1

Hi everyone — we’re fairly new to HomeExchange and I’m wondering if what we just experienced is common or even allowed.

We had an exchange request, chatted briefly with the member, and they accepted my pre‑approval. The guests arrived today to stay in our suite… and it turned out to be the member’s daughter and her boyfriend. The member never mentioned that it wouldn’t be them staying, that it would be their daughter. They’re a very nice couple, quite young (early twenties), and I’m not worried about their stay — it just caught us off guard.

Is it normal for members to send family instead of coming themselves? And is this something that’s permitted within HomeExchange rules?

Thanks for any insight from those who’ve been doing this longer.

2

Hello. No it’s not usual and it’s only allow if the daughter is still student ( not financially independant and still living with her parents).

See https://help.homeexchange.com/hc/en-us/articles/360011893118-Can-I-finalize-an-exchange-for-a-friend-extended-family-member-using-my-account

But the least courtesy would be that she should had warn you. Don’t hesitate to tell her, write it into your review, or to report it to the staff so they could say it to her.

3

Thank you for your response. It is only the daughter and boyfriend who arrived, not the account member. I don’t like that I was not informed about who would be staying. I was expecting an older couple, not two very young adults. Even if the daughter is a student I believe she shouldn’t use her parent’s account unless she is traveling with them, which she is not. So far they have been very polite so I will see how it goes. I will definitely write it in my review.

4

If she’s still living with her parents, she is allowed to do so. However, you should have known in advance. They should have told you, but you could also have asked. It is always good to chat with potential guests before letting them in your home. One of the things you should certainly know is who’s coming to your home.

5

Hello LindaDes

As said previously , it is allowed if the child is above 18 and is still living with the parents.
However, you are right, the member must be cristal clear about who is coming.
It is quite hard to guess that somebody else is coming if not saying.

Many members refuse to receive students and this might be a reason of this unclear request.

My kid did 2 exchanges without us but i have been cristal clear with the member.
Now there are 2 good reviews on my profil and a reciprocal exchange is planned for the academic year 2026 - 2027 for my big baby in Berlin :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

In your case, you can write in the review that it would have been appreciated that X would have told you the exchange was for her kid and boyfriend with a 4 stars in the communication.
And if they are really nice guests , please write it because as you can see, HE can be a wonderful opportunity for well behaved kids.

6

I think this has already been addressed by the other comments here - but no they are not allowed unless the daughter still lives with the account holder. Even in this case, the member really should have told you that it was someone else who would be staying.

Having said that, plans do change - perhaps they intended to come, but then they couldn’t. Maybe have a conversation over the HomeExchange message system with them to let them know (in a friendly way) that you were not expecting their daughter and partner. Here is the FAQ on the matter: https://help.homeexchange.com/hc/en-us/articles/360011893118-Can-I-finalize-an-exchange-for-a-friend-extended-family-member-using-my-account