I am currently looking for a guest points exchange in a really popular place, and I am getting nowhere. I’ve sent out lots of requests, explained motivation for the trip, offered to be flexible with the dates. After a week I’ve had 50% replies, all negative.
I understand that some places are very popular and hosts receive lots of requests. But here is what I don’t get: I am only writing to hosts where the calendar is open for the dates. Then I am getting negative replies, sometimes stating that they cannot host me at the time, because the home is not available. But a week later their calenders are still free for that period.
What’s the point in that? If a request reminds me that I’ve forgotten to update my calender, I’ll fix this.
Are people looking for someone “better”? If so, what does that actually mean?
I know people say hosts in popular places are busy with all the requests they get. But doesn’t this kind of behaviour actually result in more requests? Or am I misinterpreting their responses?
I understand it can be super frustrating to send so many requests and feel like you are getting nowhere. I also agree that if a host has said that they have not got availability, then their calendar should reflect this. However in reality there are so many factors to consider as to why someone may not wish to accept your request. Yes they may just not have updated their calendar: I don’t wish to make excuses - but perhaps they are super busy at that time, or maybe their love of HomeExchange is not as great as ours is, so it’s not their priority . Or perhaps some people just use this reason as a way of saying no thank you because they believe it to be a kinder way of letting someone down. With regards to your comment about looking for someone “better” - I think it is not a case of “better”, but perhaps more about looking for an exchange that better suits their individual needs. For example, maybe they are only looking for places where they can ski, or they only wish to stay in houses that have at least 4 bedrooms…the list of possibilities is long. Please don’t give up though….it only takes one person to say yes!
I feel your pain I only joined 1 year ago and have had the most amazing time. If it helps I can share my experience of finding an exchange using GPs for Paris and New York. For both I started the request process at least 6 months prior to my intended break and we are lucky as we are retired we are very flexible. Don’t take the rejections or silence personally people have many reasons for not being available to host. I sent maybe 50 requests for New York and we ended up in the East Village it was incredible. Also people who exchange their primary home are often more restricted… whereas people are more flexible if they have a secondary home. I also send most messages to people with a good response rate and filtering by new homes you can catch new properties early. Good luck as Melissa says it only takes one person to say yes ,
As far as i am concerned there are 2 problems with very popular places.
1/ GPs are low as it may be appartments which are smaller than houses and have no GP equipments such as a garden or pool.
So central Londoners, New Yorkers, Venicians and central parisians have no interest to exchange with GP.
They make a loss.
2/ They may have plenty of GPs and not enough holydays to spend them.
Exemple : Italians. All the world want to go to Italy. It is beautiful and they prefer to rent. Except in November when rentals are not so popular.
So except if your place interest them, they choose the best deal (longer stay …)
Solutions :
When you contact a popular destination, you may offer a reciprocical simultaneous or non simultanueous exchange or GPs.
It increases your chances.
As it is my living home, i don’t accept GPs but i’m happy to discover places i would have not thought before being invited.
Talk about the things to visit, events and activities in your city / region and it may clic.
For the opened calendars but “not available”.
In my request, it is written “as your calendar is opened, i try my luck”.
At least they don’t have any excuse not to do their homework if the dates are not available.
If the dates are available, they may wait for a more interesting request.
Ex : My calendar is opened 1 year in advance. Really opened.
I receive requests of places i don’t want to go or not go this year.
I reply that i don’t plan to visit their region this year.
The aim is that people who have a place in one of my favorite destinations can find my listing.
So keep updating your favorite destinations and people can find your listing with the reverse search for a reciprocal exchange and one day, in your HE mailbox you’ll have a nice surprise
Thanks Nathalie, for two lovely suggestions I will use in the future. Letting people know I saw their calender was open, and updating my favorite destinations. I already use this future, but in general for places that I am curious about going to (and also to let people know I might be interested in reciprocal exchanges) and the e-mails i receive always also list houses a bit further away but which are really interesting.
Thanks to all of you for your encouragiing messages. I finally found a place to stay at (and yes, you guessed right I was talking about Italy ), and what did the trick was to look a bit further from the city centre. It might take longer to get into town, but the cost of public transport is a fraction of the hotel prices, and I am also looking forward to getting to know a real neighborhood.
I have a Knightbridge apartment and get 1 enquiry every single day. Nobody who enquires has ever read the description that lays out in very clear terms what I am looking for in a swap and the minimum length. That is one aspect of what it is like. Extremely frustrating for me as I have to politely decline every single day to keep my reply rate as excellent.
Yes, that sounds frustrating indeed. I guess in your case I would have a reply ready to copy and paste, one that says just that - that they did not read your profile and therefore the answer is no. It’s not impolite to state just that in my opinion.
. Or perhaps some people just use this reason as a way of saying no thank you because they believe it to be a kinder way of letting someone down. With regards to your comment about looking for someone “better” - I think it is not a case of “better”, but perhaps more about looking for an exchange that better suits their individual needs. For example, maybe they are only looking for places where they can ski, or they only wish to stay in houses that have at least 4 bedrooms…the list of possibilities is long. Please don’t give up though….it only takes one person to say yes! 
I only joined 1 year ago and have had the most amazing time. If it helps I can share my experience of finding an exchange using GPs for Paris and New York. For both I started the request process at least 6 months prior to my intended break and we are lucky as we are retired we are very flexible. Don’t take the rejections or silence personally people have many reasons for not being available to host. I sent maybe 50 requests for New York and we ended up in the East Village it was incredible. Also people who exchange their primary home are often more restricted… whereas people are more flexible if they have a secondary home. I also send most messages to people with a good response rate and filtering by new homes you can catch new properties early. Good luck as Melissa says it only takes one person to say yes ,