I used to have the option to accept or decline a swap - even though it was confusingly called cancel. Now every request is pre-approved and there is no decline option. What is going on?
Hello Tim, when a request is automatically declined (which is what happens if you don’t respond after 4 days), then you are correct there is no option to use one of the pre-written messages (no/yes GP/yes reciprocal). I think this is what you are referring to? These options are still available if you respond within that 4 day window. When using the auto-decline, these quick answers were removed to avoid another automatic answer.
No i am trying to decline manually before the timeout because I don’t want to affect my responsiveness score. But I can’t I am still “in conversation”.
If it is showing as “in conversation” then you don’t need to worry as you have already responded so your responsiveness score will be positive. You cannot manually decline and you don’t need to.
Hi! 
That does sound confusing. I’d recommend checking your HomeExchange settings or contacting their support team to find out whether the manual decline option has changed. 
It’s important to have control over which swap requests you accept, especially when your plans or availability don’t match. Hopefully, they can clarify how to decline unwanted requests.
Thanks!