Hi All – I recently inquired about an exchange for a home that was, according to its calendar, available on the dates I requested for guest points. The owner, however, refused my request with no explanation. I had even said my dates were flexible but she simply said she cannot make it work. It’s the second time this has happened. I realize no one in obligated to offer and exchange but it seems strange to say a home is available and then say no without offering a why. (I don’t have a lot of exchanges under my belt but my rating is 4.9.)
Hi, you can of course ask the member why, but there is no guarantee that they will answer your question. Members have to feel confident that the member they are exchanging with is a good match for them. A refusal can be for many unexplained reasons.
I can appreciate that it can be frustrating, but the reality is that other members do not owe us anything. We are asking them to hand over the inner sanctum of their home, it really is their call.
I’ve had the same thing happen a few times - don’t be offended, it’s most likely nothing to do with you. Sometimes they’re trying to work out a Reciprocal exchange and it’s taking awhile to sort travel or time off work, or they need to update their calendar, or they’re thinking of selling their property, or their friend just asked to stay in the property, or they just had some news and need to think things through. Life.
Sometimes the explanation is too private or detailed to share. I try to say I’m sorry we are looking for someone to take the whole time or we are in flux on another exchange but sometimes you catch people a day when they just can’t do even that. A family member is sick and they may pull the listitng etc. but haven’t got to it. mostly it isn’t about you.
We get a lot of requests and I would say a lot of people don’t read the details, they just look at the pictures. Now if people don’t read our listing, they often don’t realize that we only exchange with couples (2 people) and there are 4 people wanting to come or often people assume we are in a different area, even though we are very specific as to where we are, in those cases, I just send the automatic NO answer.
I’ve also seen someone write that you must use a code word (that can be found in their listing) in your request and if it’s not there, it’s an automatic no for them.
So be sure to read the listing well before requesting.
Also, other reasons might be that you haven’t completed your profile, just have just a few pictures or that your photos show that your house is cluttered.
Also, it can be that some hosts are not great communicators.
Generally i refuse with a reason.
The most usual (and true) is that we are not planning to go in the area in the next 2 years.
They can check it’s true in my favorite destinations.
However as an Homeexchange ambassador, i also send the link of all the listings of people who wrote their city/area in their favorites and at their dates/dates + - 7 days.
And guess what?
The morale of the newbies improves and even experienced exchangers told me that they hadn’t thought about reverse search.
It’s different from refusing or refusing with a solution
I get multiple requests per week, often even multiple requests per day. As a rule I avoid using the automatic responses, and try to write a message back to the person individually, but outlining the specific reason that their particular request isn’t going to work is time and energy I am not willing to spend, sorry! Plus it’s none of their business that I just scheduled a medical procedure for the week before and am not sure I’ll be able to travel, or that I’m going through a breakup and want to stay home, or that I’m waiting to hear if my cousin is visiting me that weekend, or that my mom has been ill and I can’t plan my travel too far in advance, or that I don’t get a good vibe from their profile or their message, or that I am not a fan of their city and never want to visit it again, etc.
My calendar shows dates where I am willing to consider an exchange, not times I will definitely agree to an exchange. If I can’t make it work, that’s all you need to know; the reason is irrelevant.
The reasons I find useful to receive are those I can work with. You are asking too early, we would like someone to take the whole time, ect. Also on the host side requests I can’t accommodate have taught me to update my listing with important info like we have no baby proofing and this isnt suitable for people with difficulty walking. I don’t feel obliged to repeat things in my response that are in the listing so make sure there isn’t a minimum stay or something else that drives the auto response.
