Dietary needs and restrictions in a home exchange

English Forum Community 🥰 Your stories, anecdotes & advice
1

Inspired by a post in our HE-group on Facebook, I’d like to share some thoughts on dietary needs and restrictions when we home exchange.

Food habits can matter more than you’d think in an exchange. Kitchens are shared spaces, and everyone brings their own routines, preferences, and sometimes medical needs. If you follow a specific diet—vegan, vegetarian, kosher, halal—or you have allergies, it’s worth being open about how things work in your home. Some hosts are relaxed about guests cooking whatever they like, while others prefer to keep certain foods out of the house entirely. There’s no right answer; it’s simply about what makes you comfortable.

If you have a strict diet it could make likeminded persons feel more safe, you get a clear target group for your exchange, although sometimes excluding others. So it is worth thinking through your thoughts and options.

If you welcome guests with different diets from your own, a little preparation goes a long way. For instance - for some plant based members it is merely a health choice and others can make what they like. For others, it is a life stance and you do not at all feel comfortable with other diets in your home. That’s fine. You’ll have a limited group of possible partners that share your view.

If you are inbetween: Many hosts choose to buy a small, separate set of cookware for guests to use if they want to prepare foods the household doesn’t normally cook. It keeps things simple and avoids any awkwardness about using your own pots and pans. Clear fridge space, a quick note about how the kitchen is usually organized, or a tip about nearby shops that cater to vegan or allergy‑friendly diets can also make guests feel at ease.

Allergies, of course, are a different category. If certain foods can’t enter your home for safety reasons, it’s completely appropriate to say so clearly in your listing. Most guests appreciate knowing exactly what’s expected, especially when health is involved.

The easiest way to avoid misunderstandings is to start the conversation early. If it is very clear cut - say it in your listing - try to make it positive (what you offer) rather than what you exclude. It gives that positive vibe. We offer a nut-free home and would love to host families that help us keeping it nut-free, for instance.

A friendly message asking whether guests have any dietary needs—and briefly explaining your own household practices—sets the tone. It also gives both sides a chance to check that the exchange is a good fit before confirming.

Some hosts prefer only to welcome guests whose habits align with their own, and that’s perfectly fine.
Maybe you get repeat exchanges with members with similar needs or interests - adding value to your exchanges.

Others are flexible as long as expectations are clear. Whatever your approach, being upfront in your listing helps the right guests find you and makes the exchange smoother for everyone. A little clarity around food can make a big difference in how comfortable both sides feel sharing a home.

1 Like
2

Hello Tailwag

Interesting post.
In 2 decades, i had a problem only once.
We contacted some Berliners who were happy to exchange with us BUT during the conversation they said they were vegetarian (which is quite usual in this city) and to eat meat in their appartment was strictly forbiden.
In the listing, it was written that they were vegetarian but it was not written members coming to their home must be vegetarian.

We replied that we don’t accept that people tell us what to eat just as we would never impose our eating habits on others.

It was so intrusive and as a result, we told them that we could not exchange with them any longer.
They became very aggressive, which confirmed my first impression.

We don’t care, there are plenty of other members who are willing to welcome us without controlling our lives and we had a great time in Berlin.

2 Likes
3

Thank you, @Nathalie1 .

I find that I am more prepared on the issues of religious diet (to the extent I am familiar with it) and the usual allergies.

Vegetarian/ vegan can be very, very different what people actually mean and expect, it seems to me, and for that reason give more cause to have a chat about what people actually think about it - to be sure that the partners align. As you experienced. It is no need to be aggressive, for either party. Sorry you experienced that.

4

Before the merger , there was a Jewish tag and a Christian tag.
I suppose it could be used to “have a limited group of possible partners that share your view.”
At least for the Jewish members.

5

In relation to exchanges I would think a kosher kitchen as an amenity would be more on point, in that case.

Not that I think that is the most common topic. My guess would be vegan/ vegetarian, gluten and nuts would be most frequent.

Then there’s the room perfumes, scented candles and perfumed detergents, but that is an entirely different topic! :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:

6

I believe that dietary preferences are a personal matter. It should not be necessary for a host to specify in great detail what forms of cuisine that they do or do not support. It is up to the guest, if they have any specific dietary or cooking-method preferences, to ask questions of the host during inital conversations before finalizing.

7

Although i agree it is usually not necessary, I know examples where the home of the host is gluten free and they don’t allow any gluten containing products (bread, pasta, cakes - and a lot of different sauces, snacks etc containing gluten) or as Nathalie1 mentions - it is regularly vegans/ vegetarians that find meat products repulsive and do not want it made in their kitchen ware, sometimes not even present in their home. For restrictions like this I am certain that many members would like to know of these things early on, as they might not want to do an exchange under these terms. And opposite; a host with these requirements would not like the risk of a guest not honoring the expectations.

Personally, I think the member with such requirements should be the one adressing it - being transparent with their needs - whether it is a host or a guest. It could be somewhat of a hit or miss otherwise.

1 Like
8

I had not thought about it but if someone were to say they had severe nut allergies I would probably have to turn them away. We eat quite a bit of nuts and I could never be sure that there would not be exposure as we put nut containing items in the refrigerator and on the counters. and my husband shells and eats peanuts. We use nut oils. I think other restrictions we could handle but that one probably not.

1 Like
9

I’m going to Berlin in two days. Only three days ago, the person lending me her apartment sent me her house instructions, where, to my surprise, she mentions that she is vegetarian and would prefer that we refrain from cooking meat or fish in her home.

Up until now, throughout all our conversations, she had never brought up the subject, and there is no indication whatsoever—neither in her personal profile, nor in her listing, nor in the reviews from other members—that she is vegetarian.

I wrote a message on the French forum 3 days ago to ask what you would do in this situation, but it hasn’t been published yet. So, in the meantime, I’d like to ask for your opinion here. What would you do?

10

Hello illopart,

i had the problem with a Berliner.

Hopefully , she told me hefore the deal.
I wrote back that i would never ask to anyone what they can eat in my home (some follows religious rules, other have some allergies and any other can eat what they like).

She said i could eat meat outside her home.
And i said we could not exchange as her request was too intrusive (it is as you were asking to a muslim or jewish to eat pork at home).
Sorry but what people eat is their private choice.

From that point, she started to be agressive.
This is the main problem with these people wanting to impose their own choices.
It is the reverse of Homeexchange mindset which promotes to be opened minded and to host people of different cultures.

I am so upset she tells you this 5 days before your arrival.
She knows you have no choice.
Please contact HE team support and tell us if they manage this instrusive request.

11

Hi @Nathalie1,

Thank you for sharing your experience. What surprises me most about this situation is that there is no mention of it in her profile, and none of her previous guests mentioned it either. In fact, she only told me about it five days before the exchange because I contacted her to ask for the house instructions. Otherwise, I might only have found out upon arrival.

To be honest, since it is not a prohibition but rather a request (her exact words were: “I’m a vegetarian and would appreciate it if no meat or fish were cooked in my flat”), I’m not sure whether to comply with it completely or just carry on eating normally.

I was also thinking of mentioning it in my post-exchange review for future visitors, and I’m unsure whether it should affect the communication rating. That’s why I wanted to ask for other people’s perspectives.

I don’t think HE would do much about a situation like this.

12

As a matter of fact illopart, it is written in some listings that the hosts are vegerian.

But it does not mean that guests are obliged to be or to become a vegetarian to contact them !

Words have a meaning.

As far as i am concerned, i would eat as usual.
Clean the kitchen and dishes when i leave (obviously! ) and write in the review :
« “X is a vegetarian and would appreciate if no meat or fish are cooked in her flat”.

This information is important for future guests not to feel trapped.

1 Like
13

This to me takes away some of the advantage of exchanging a home and cooking there if it is for a longer time period as I don’t have such a large vegetarian menu in my head and going out isn’t something we would want to do alot on a longer trip. This is definitely something someone should put in their profile. I think I would try to respect what I could but make it clear if you think it is not possible to honor this request during your entire stay.

1 Like
14

Yes, it defitely does! :grimacing: Thank you for your opinion @Nathalie1 and @cafrobose. Would you therefore give her a score below 5 for communication when evaluating her? Or would you simply mention that cooking meat or fish is not allowed in that house because the owner is vegetarian, so that future guests are aware of it?

2 Likes
15

Since I am not a fan of stars to begin with I would lean towards just mentioning it relatively prominently in my review.

1 Like